butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
