Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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