I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
