Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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