Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
