Kareoke will never be a sober sport
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
