I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
