Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
