Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
