WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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