He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
