i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
