Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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