Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
