so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
