i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
