Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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