It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
