We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
