kristin has been a bad kristin
We need to rekindle our bromance
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize