Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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