someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
