Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
