.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
