You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
