I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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