Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You made out with two different species that night
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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