all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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