I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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