You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
