Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I didn't shave. On purpose
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
