I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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