i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He felt like a one man threesome
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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