shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
