I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
