If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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