he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
