I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
