Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
