Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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