My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
