i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
