I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's blow job season.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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