Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I had to cum in my sink.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
