I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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