its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
