maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
