I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I want a musical about memes.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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