i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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