We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
