All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
