i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize