K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
