This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
