Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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