Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
