Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ugly people sure do ruin things
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
