Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
