remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
