So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
