with your own penis?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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