For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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